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Twenty Seven

I’ve been trying to write something for this blog for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve felt so drained, both physically and emotionally, that it’s been hard to organize my thoughts. I doubt this will be a very long or interesting post, but just a little bit of an update instead. This past week,Continue reading “Twenty Seven”

Twenty Six

2021. Finally, a new year, new – wait. Nope. New year, same shit. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated this blog, so I’m not really sure where to begin. I’ll guess I’ll start with now. I’m currently quarantined after being deemed a first contact with someone who tested positive with COVID at myContinue reading “Twenty Six”

Twenty Five

I don’t even know where to begin. It’s 3 1/2 weeks post discharge and just about everything feels out of control right now. And I think we all know how I react when I feel like things are getting out of control… My weight is officially the lowest it’s been in a couple of years,Continue reading “Twenty Five”

Twenty Four

26 Things I’m grateful for on this 26th of November. Jesus. Oh so thankful for Jesus. Not having to spend this holiday in the hospital. All of the texts, emails and cards my friends and family sent me while I was in the hospital. They meant the world to me. The incredible friends I madeContinue reading “Twenty Four”

Twenty Three

I’ve been home for 5 full days now, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I just don’t fucking know. I thought that things would be easier coming home this time around, that something I learned in those 8 long weeks would have stuck with me enough to spark a real change. But soContinue reading “Twenty Three”

Twenty Two

It’s been a minute since I’ve last posted, mainly because I’ve spent the past 8 weeks back in inpatient treatment and have been too occupied trying to, you know, recover, to post. But tonight is my last night here, and I have journaled all along the way, so over the next few weeks, I’ll beContinue reading “Twenty Two”

Twenty One

Do you know what it’s like to be told your electrolytes are so critically low that you should be admitted due to the risk of cardiac arrest, and then walk out of the hospital not even an hour later as if that conversation never happened? Rational Becca would never do that. The part of meContinue reading “Twenty One”

Twenty

I’m excited to be able to start this with a positive. This week Thursday, we were FINALLY allowed to come into our school building to work, and I’ve never been so excited to go. I got to see so many of my amazing coworkers who I haven’t seen in about 6 months, and it wasContinue reading “Twenty”

Nineteen

Today was a hard day. A day I was hoping would never have to happen, or if it did, that it would happen months from now. I completed an assessment for more inpatient treatment. If insurance agrees, if the program’s medical director agrees (I’m half hoping they don’t), then I could admit in the nextContinue reading “Nineteen”

Eighteen

Lately, a lot of people have been asking me if my time in treatment was helpful, and the truth is there’s no black or white answer. I initially only agreed to go in the first place because my therapist was close to discontinuing our treatment if I didn’t seek a higher level of care. IContinue reading “Eighteen”

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