Twenty Eight

Where even to begin? So much has happened, and yet…nothing is different. Or maybe it is. It’s hard to tell most days. Maybe some day soon I’ll share what exactly has been going on in my life for the past two months or so, but I simply don’t have the energy or will to do

Twenty Seven

I’ve been trying to write something for this blog for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve felt so drained, both physically and emotionally, that it’s been hard to organize my thoughts. I doubt this will be a very long or interesting post, but just a little bit of an update instead. This past week,

Twenty Six

2021. Finally, a new year, new – wait. Nope. New year, same shit. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated this blog, so I’m not really sure where to begin. I’ll guess I’ll start with now. I’m currently quarantined after being deemed a first contact with someone who tested positive with COVID at my

Twenty Five

I don’t even know where to begin. It’s 3 1/2 weeks post discharge and just about everything feels out of control right now. And I think we all know how I react when I feel like things are getting out of control… My weight is officially the lowest it’s been in a couple of years,

Twenty Four

26 Things I’m grateful for on this 26th of November. Jesus. Oh so thankful for Jesus. Not having to spend this holiday in the hospital. All of the texts, emails and cards my friends and family sent me while I was in the hospital. They meant the world to me. The incredible friends I made

Twenty Three

I’ve been home for 5 full days now, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I just don’t fucking know. I thought that things would be easier coming home this time around, that something I learned in those 8 long weeks would have stuck with me enough to spark a real change. But so

Twenty Two

It’s been a minute since I’ve last posted, mainly because I’ve spent the past 8 weeks back in inpatient treatment and have been too occupied trying to, you know, recover, to post. But tonight is my last night here, and I have journaled all along the way, so over the next few weeks, I’ll be

Twenty One

Do you know what it’s like to be told your electrolytes are so critically low that you should be admitted due to the risk of cardiac arrest, and then walk out of the hospital not even an hour later as if that conversation never happened? Rational Becca would never do that. The part of me

Twenty

I’m excited to be able to start this with a positive. This week Thursday, we were FINALLY allowed to come into our school building to work, and I’ve never been so excited to go. I got to see so many of my amazing coworkers who I haven’t seen in about 6 months, and it was

Nineteen

Today was a hard day. A day I was hoping would never have to happen, or if it did, that it would happen months from now. I completed an assessment for more inpatient treatment. If insurance agrees, if the program’s medical director agrees (I’m half hoping they don’t), then I could admit in the next